Flash Fiction Friday – 001

The Appointment Was For 11:00am.

The Appointment Was For 11:00am.

It is now 11:15am. There is a Kit-Cat Clock on the wall, smiling as it’s eyes and tail move from side to side making a clicking noise.

Click! Click! Click! The receptionist said the doctor wanted to go over the results of my bloodwork. It seemed urgent. Why else would he want to meet with me on a Monday? If it was nothing he’d book the meeting with me on a Wednesday. No one ever gets bad news on a Wednesday. This is why everyone hates Mondays. This is why Garfield hates Mondays.

Click! Click! Click! Maybe I’m diabetic? I shouldn’t have drank all those pumpkin spice lattes. Nothing but sugar and syrup in those things. This is how he breaks the news to me? On a Monday? He’ll look at me and say “Oh, by the way, you’ll need insulin for the rest of your life!” Click! Click! Click! He’s probably working up the courage to tell me I have fatty liver disease too. So I have a couple of drinks at night before bed, big deal, right? I’m not an alcoholic, so I know I can quit whenever I want.

Click! Click! Click! It’s already 11:20am? How bad is it that he can’t come right out and tell me what’s wrong? Oh god. It’s cancer. That must be it. How do you break the news to someone that they’re dying? That’s why they have me waiting in this room. Calming blue walls. Dense grey carpets to dampen the sounds of crying. The clown stickers on the wall, mocking me because this must be a paediatrician’s office that they have me waiting in. Is that blood on the wall? What the fuck goes on in this room?

Click! Click! Click! I hate that sadistic cat. It spends the day hanging on the wall, grinning while people get bad news. It’s like it knows something.

Click! Click! Click! 11:25am the doctor waltzes in and says to me “Sorry, I got tied up with another patient, I just want to double-check your blood pressure before we proceed.” I feel the band tighten around my arm as he inflates it, all while I think about how much time I have left. Click! Click! Click! He looks at me and says “Your blood pressure is a little high today, did you have any coffee this morning?” “Not yet.” I reply as he brings up my test results.

Click! Click! Click! He looks at his screen and says to me “All your results came back normal, but your cholesterol is a little high, you might want to consider a low fat diet.”

Click! Click! Click! I don’t know if I want to thank him or punch him in the face.